The militiaman’s library includes a variety of books. One is a book about how to blow things up. Another is the King James version of the Bible!
My old childhood “library” couldn’t be assembled in one room. Nor was it necessarily a bunch of books. It included ideas that permeated the choices that my parents made, though, and led me down some paths, making sets of choices that I might later regret as my own belief system changed.
Yet to wish away that part of my life, a part that was filled with riches and coping skills learned even in the midst of the confusion, is not a good thing. It changes nothing, and fails to embrace the person I have become to the fullest extent that I need to do so.
It certainly included a lot about destruction. The “Devil” and God (or God, as I was led to believe who was the only way to see God) were at war. God was going to win out in the end, probably in my own lifetime they said, just as many survivors believe today. It was such a narcissistic way to view God, and it wasn’t much different than the belief system of many writers in the Bible and the translators who complicated things further. These were people who could not see beyond their own dilemmas and shallow set of goals. In that, they were so much like us today.
Becoming the exception, or the person who sees beyond today and looks at the larger picture. This is what I understand of true spirituality. Not that I’m there by any means. Yet I want so much to see the universal problems of power, fear, anger and rage that are our greatest enemies whenever we misuse them or fail to see clearly where they are being misused.