Please go to Question No. 2 and Question No. 4 of this set for information. You may also want to get an individual therapist on board for yourself. I hope this site can at least help you understand better what is going on and to see your feelings as normal for this trying situation.
Dee Ann Miller is the
author of Enlarging Boston's Spotlight: A Call for Courage, Integrity, and Institutional Transformation (2017) How Little We Knew: Collusion and Confusion with Sexual Misconduct (1993)
and
The Truth about Malarkey (2000)