4. As a family member, I've suffered a lot myself in trying to find justice and understanding in the church. Sometimes I feel like I was victimized just as much as my son (or daughter, sister, spouse). Is this common?

It is very common. In some cases, the “secondary” survivors seem to be more wounded than the “primary” survivor. Your losses may actually be greater or at least as great. Or you may have personal values or a history that makes you more vulnerable to the trauma. Parents have additional issues like guilt. Spouses can have the same.

Please go to "Just for the Brave" for more insights.

Dee Ann Miller is the author of Enlarging Boston's Spotlight: A Call for Courage, Integrity, and Institutional Transformation (2017) How Little We Knew: Collusion and Confusion with Sexual Misconduct (1993) and The Truth about Malarkey (2000)