There are very few "must's" in survivorship, so I use the word sparingly. Yet I'm going to use it here: Initially, we MUST focus on mere survival. In time, in order to recover, we MUST move out of the near-sightedness that trauma causes, though.

My husband Ron often, in speaking of his own suffering as a result of working for change in religious systems, says: "Thank God for the trouble I have NOT had."

Seeing that broader picture, of many people we've known as a couple--people suffering from various losses and problems as immense as war, severe malnutrition, or having to walk for miles to find a drop of water--helps me look beyond myself to put things in perspective. I soon find myself counting blessings, rather than obsessing over the agonies I've encountered.

Below are some articles I've written that may assist you to develop new ways of thinking. New ways of thinking can lead to new ways of coping. This eventually results in less self-absorption and unrealistic expectations. Unless we decide to embrace ways of thinking that contribute to a reversal of our coping abilities so that the result is regression or staying stuck. Heaven forbid!

	NEW! Hear Dee's voice in a podcast sharing about the following topics:
	Misconceptions About Healing
	Music and Healing
	What if Nothing Happens?
	Winning the Battle
Please don't miss these important words by Bradshaw, as well:
	Bradshaw's Words on Secrecy

You will find related insights at:

and

Dee’s books and “Just for the Brave” are also filled with insights on coping.