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Tue 02/26/2008
The Victims of Joseph Smith
Topic: Power
The primary victims of Joseph Smith were his wives. Including his first wife. This is a point that might be argued among those of us who have written on clergy sexual misconduct, but that's how I see it. As opposed to the stories of today, Joseph Smith forced his wife to accept that "celestial marriage" was of God, even though it was illegal, and she was called to stay with him. Historians tell us she was first deceived and later devastated at her fate. She really did not have the choices, though difficult, that wives of perpetrators have today. She had married him without a vow of "in monogamy or polygamy." As with all clergy perpetrators, Smith broke sacred vows to his wife when he accepted what he saw as other sacred vows from God. Not unlike many of the delusions that are fed by clergy perpetrators to their victims today. Among the many secondary victims were the men and women he persuaded to follow him into polygamy. Yes, some of his victims became perpetrators, as well. The most famous being Brigham Young. Not that Smith assaulted or molested Young. He did not. Young was such a devoted follower, however, that he felt he could not refuse Smith's direction. Young's pleas, which he recorded in a letter to Smith, ring from the grave as heart-wrenching: "No, I cannot. Ask me to do anything. Ask me to sacrifice my wealth, my fortune. Ask me to be away from my family. But don't ask me to do this." Finally, he was worn down to the point of accepting what he knew in his heart and soul was wrong. So, in a way, I see him as a victim. In another, I see him as a perpetrator of sexual misconduct, though it is framed as a religious practice and called polygamy. Listen to Young's acceptance: "I will accept this principle. And it's the first time in my life that I desire the grave. I wish I were dead rather than have to do this." Some would say he had a choice. I believe this question would be up for debate among authorities on religious power. I myself cannot come to a clear-cut answer. I know for certain, though, that he had more than 50 victims. People may argue that the women had a choice. I don't think so. Young, like Smith, held far too much power for a woman to refuse him in that community! She would have been scorned and treated like an infidel for refusing a prophet! Both men--unlike Abraham, yet like so many others who were carrying out the command to engage in "celestial marriage"--were quite secretive about this "God-sanctioned" practice of polygamy. Of course, readers of this blog are likely to immediately recognize that secrecy is a hallmark of any abuse--why does one need to hide what is right and good? Even today, this perpetrator continues to have an immense following. Unlike Abraham, who was following his culture and living within the confines of the law when he participated in polygamy, this man broke the law. This prophet had so much charisma that the town of Nauvoo, Illinois was rivalling Chicago in population, just a few years after the "faith" was born! Polygamy may have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but it was more than a straw. It was sanctioned by the charismatic prophet, a man that I believe (as many scholars do) had delusions of grandeur. The power that was already his, I dare say because the people had given it to him, didn't just threaten the city of Chicago. It allowed Smith to create a following that continues provide inspiration, intrigue, and scorn for a religion that was actually born during the period of time when fundamentalism, a form of twisted Christianity that still permeates a large portion of our society, sprung up rampantly. Not that the persecution and violence was an appropriate and moral outcome, however. That's where the story turns more tragic.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Updated: Mon 02/25/2008 8:56 AM CST
Mon 02/25/2008
Polygamy or Clergy Sexual Misconduct?
Topic: Power
Religious freedom is something I believe in, just as much as racial or gender equality. People have a right to believe and practice whatever they choose when it comes to religion, provided they do not undermine the rights of others. However, I'm going out on a limb today. At the risk of sounding like I am seriously prejudiced against one of the largest growing religious groups in the world. I do not know that anyone else has ever suggested it. Some people may ask what gives me the right to be so bold. Well, it's not the first time I was out on a limb! After carefully looking at the history of Joseph Smith, the prophet of Mormonism, I am convinced that his story has some classic themes of clergy sexual misconduct. Perhaps one of the most "successful" and long-running stories of all time. Yes, I believe this prophet was an incredibly credible perpetrator! In no uncertain terms. He deceived his wife and followers, then covered it over to say that he had received a revelation from God that he was to follow the Old Testament patriarchs. What a creative way to suddenly gain MORE power. Blame it on God! Not unlike what many people who refuse to accept scientific evidence that would change some basic fundamentalist beliefs that no longer help us to do anything except keep our delusions. I'll be talking more about Joseph Smith's victims tomorrow.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 7:48 AM CST
Sun 02/24/2008
The Problem with Tradition in Theology
Topic: spirituality
"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold." I can still hear my daughter, as a 9-year-old Brownie, singing that song at the top of her voice. Three decades later, she's learned how to do that quite well. My mother, who grew up in the Great Depression, also does this very well. She recently sent me a picture of herself, at about age 6, along with her sister a year older and a good friend. That good friend still lives near Mother, who is now 82. In fact, my mother wrote recently that she takes her friend to the grocery store and helps her shop, while the friend leans on the grocery cart. It may be that these two stayed bonded to one place for a large chunk of their growing up years. My mother in a little farm community in Texas, my daughter in Malawi, C. Africa (even though she went away to boarding school, along with some of her friends, perhaps bonding her to them even more). Yet Renita also has a lot of friends left from college. Perhaps because she still lives in the same neighborhood and attends a church across the street from the university, it's easier to keep up with people. Whatever the reasons, these two keep the old while reaching out to the new in ways that I'll never know. There is a close parallel that I see between how theology can serve us well as we "make new friends" with emerging concepts while keeping the old concepts that still work from long ago. That's where I'm going, in this blog, starting tomorrow.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Fri 02/22/2008
New Toys Needed
Topic: Making Changes
The granddaughters reminded me over the weekend that they are outgrowing some of the toys. It's true. For the first time since we acquired the noisy Playschool train with it's shiny red track, back in the year 2000, I didn't hear it this visit. The noise this time came from the wheels on the "shopping cart," sometimes turned into a "stroller," that were moving so fast across the wood floor upstairs that I went to investigate at one point. The train will probably be among the things that get tossed in the next few weeks, before the three grandsons descend on our place, as we watch with a kid's delight to see what interests them this time. Throughout my life, I've outgrown a lot of things. Not necessarily things that indicate immaturity, though hopefully I've outgrown a lot of those, too. There are just interests--even careers--that I can proudly say: "I used to......" We adults have to be constantly assessing our own new "toys" or objects or beliefs or ideas or activities that work for us. Boredom is the ultimate sign of dysfunctional aging, I believe. It's obvious that I'm not going to grow old without physical pain, but I plan to grow old without the pain of boredom. It appears that the grandkids are going to do their best to see that I do!
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Thu 02/21/2008
New Challenges from a Three-year-old
Topic: Making Changes
Over the weekend, I asked my granddaughters what we needed to change in the grandkids' room upstairs at our place. "Paint more things on the wall?" said three-year-old Kellyn, with eyes brightly shining. "Good idea," I replied. "We'll have to think about that." I asked for suggestions and got "a barn and farm animals." Immediately, I thought of the challenge. Painting animals will be a daunting task for this amateur, but I promised to look into it. I explained that the wall under the windows started out to be a barnyard years ago, but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Reminds me of our lives. We have our plans, but circumstances come along that alter those plans. The end result isn't always the way we envisioned it on the easel. Or the wall, in this case. So, it's back to the drawing board. First I'll have to imagine myself even trying to paint animals. Wonder what they'll turn out looking like? Part of me can't wait to get started. Part of me doesn't WANT to start. That's the way it goes.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Updated: Wed 02/20/2008 7:39 AM CST
Wed 02/20/2008
Growing Up
Topic: Making Changes
As I see it, we are all constantly in the process of growing up. None of us ever will be totally grown. Depressing perhaps to some, I find this idea energizing. We have to continue learning and growing as long as we live. There's work to do! Over the weekend, my two preschool granddaughters visited us, along with their father. Upstairs we have a kids' room that used to be a huge junk closet for the former owners of our country cottage. This grandmother, who grew up in a parsonage with the ghostly fear that anything we did to the place where we lived might get us in trouble, had the time of her life. I literally drew all over the walls! With paint. Hot air balloons, a castle, a city, mountains, a windmill, a playground, animal "clouds", a spaceship, children, and a forest are among the recognized objects. Later the oldest grandson and the older granddaughter decided things needed to be added. Micah wanted a rocket blasting off--he got it. Haley quietly inquired of her father one day: "Where's the sunshine?" While there was evidence of it peering through the clouds, and even a fireball sunset over the mountains, she seemed to want something bright and shiny. She got that, too, though I may not have succeeded in spreading the "sunshine" through the many square feet of wall space, to her satisfaction. The building of full-length beds in that room is a project long overdue. A professional carpenter is starting that task tomorrow. For families, just like individuals, have constant changes and challenges. What a gift to be a part of this thing called life, so we can all grow together. In families, as well as in community. Meeting the predictable changes. And the unpredictable.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Updated: Wed 02/20/2008 7:38 AM CST
Tue 02/19/2008
Starting at Home
Topic: Making Changes
One of the prime symptoms of depression that was so starkly evident to me as a mental health nurse had to do with environmental factors. Seriously depressed individuals tend to be either focused on nothing. Or focused on remote things, too far removed and unrelated to the real world in which they live to be practical. It's as if the world close at hand is so dismal, especially the internal world of self, to clean up the visible messes that are tangible. Even in the physical environment. Things just get stacked up, and those things are representative of the emotional housecleaning that needs to be done in order to be productive. I've even known of families that required two large moving vans to drag around all of the things they never found the time or energy to sort through as they moved to a new location, to transplant all of the problems (and junk) that would take too much time or energy to go through in order to make significant changes in the quality of living. Allowing them to find the things that were really important. Whenever I begin to feel frazzled or at loose ends, I know it's time to evaluate what's close to home. To find the closets I've neglected or the drawers that could be used for things related to the present, occupied by things no longer useful. What fun it is to discover forgotten treasures, hidden under things I don't need at all. Ironically, when I begin that process in my physical house, I find synergy. In other words, my emotional house--the internal sense of self--comes into focus. Perhaps because the things that are passed away, keeping the present from becoming new and shiny, force me to make choices. Throwing away the useless objects often results in me cleaning up the clutter in my own psyche. Then, I can narrow it down to a manageable short list of priorities. Down to what's really important.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Updated: Tue 02/19/2008 1:15 AM CST
Mon 02/18/2008
Another Way to Find Serenity
Topic: coping
My father's family is known for it's strong sense of humor. A dry humor that sometimes gets misunderstood by more serious folks. I've inherited some of that myself. Dad and his siblings have all had me beat by a long shot, though. Perhaps because they knew so much grief and horrific abuse and neglect as children. Dad has been gone for almost a quarter of century, but his brother still seems to have a knack for putting a smile on the faces of people, even when hearing some of the saddest stories. He might start the Serenity Prayer like this: "God give me the creativity to find humor in the things I cannot change." It's a marvelous gift.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Sun 02/17/2008
The cook and nanny for Atticus and his motherless children was Calpurnia, herself a “Negro.” This lady was a queen in that household. She showed herself to be full of wisdom and kindness. Once, in speaking to another cook, she was overheard giving an insider's view: “First thing you learn when you’re in a lawin’ family is that there ain’t any definite answers to anything.” By that she explained that there was no way of knowing how things would turn out. No matter how hard the advocate-attorney Atticus worked or how smart he was. That's the first thing we need to all learn, when we start to advocate for the oppressed. Or to fight oppression in any form.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Fri 02/15/2008
Taking the High Road
Topic: coping
In Harper Lee’s TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, one of the main characters is Atticus, an attorney who stands up for a falsely-accused “Negro” and “rapist.” We see much of the story through the eyes of his children. He tells them that they must see prejudiced people as simply ill-informed. He insists that his daughter, who is prone to get into fights with antagonistic males in her second-grade class, is to simply turn away and ignore the fact that these kids are bringing their parents’ attitudes into the school. Attitudes developed because of malicious talk about her father, because of his role as the defense attorney for his client. Yet he contradicts his mild-mannered approach at one point, near the end of the novel, when he tells his son: “As you grow older, you’ll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don’t you forget it--whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash.” A far cry from being ill-informed. Perhaps you sometimes struggle with how to live with what you know about the bigotry and collusion you’ve seen, especially among people like those in this small, fictitious Southern town of Maycomb. Fact is, as Atticus really understood deep in his heart, no matter what we believe or feel about people who are ignorantly cruel, it serves us well to remember that they are not necessarily evil. Acting aggressively or in a manner that puts us on the level of repulsive people does not serve anyone’s best interest. Mature Love IS all that counts for anything.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
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