Two of the most destructive elements that work against real spirituality are shame and pride.
As a kid, I often heard that my grandfather had "so much pride." Those who said this thought it was an asset that he possessed. Truth is it was a negative pride that is born out of shame. He was ashamed to let people know when he or his family were in need. Ashamed of being needy.
Real pride IS an asset. It comes when there is integrity and a healthy self-esteem. It produces a balance between asking for help when it is needed and having qualities that deserve recognition. A person with real pride knows that he or she has reason to be proud.
Destructive pride is what dysfunctional families and institutions possess, and both are filled with people who hide in shame and isolation, unwilling to be honest and often lacking integrity.