Topic: Stained Glass
Early in my years of advocacy, I met a middle-aged survivor who had never married. She felt that her survival journey had been less painful because she had not had to deal with a spouse who might have different sets of preferences for her difficult decisions. It's hard to know if she was correct or not. After all, one cannot see the other side of things with complete objectivity. We always see our situation through a glass darkened by our experience.
It could also have depended on the individual's outlook. She could just have easily said that it would have been so much easier if she had had a spouse to share the burdens.
Vice versa, too, for those who are married or have a stable significant other. There are pro's and con's to either situation. Even the healthiest of marriages seem to need a degree of space whenever a crisis comes along. In order to insure that the other(s) in the family are being nurtured, but not smothered. A difficult road to navigate for sure!
For the next few days, I'll be examining the growth opportunities, as well as the pitfalls, that come with close relationships of survivors and advocates. Not just with spouses, but with children who are bystanders, even if not direct victims.
It seems especially timely because all of this often seems to be more pronounced as the holidays occur.
