Topic: spirituality
Recently I had a conversation with several women who are well-educated women still inside the Southern Baptist Convention. I very much appreciated their time and interest in my work. In the course of that conversation, someone suggested that an article was needed that shows how some survivors have managed to transcend the problems of abuse and collusion.
It was a great suggestion. Truth is--and I said so immediately--that I had already written that article. It's at http://takecourage.org/AWArticles/ChurchSecrets.htm It has sprinklings all through it about people who have done just that, some staying at least somewhat active in the church while others are totally out of it. The church folks would interpret that to mean they ARE "totally out of it." 
The suggestion wasn't that we find churches that have done all the right things. I've had that one before, too. This idea was much more in touch with reality. For there are far more survivors who have managed to transcend the problems and gain insights than there are churches who have done so. It is a long, difficult road for anyone in either group, of course.
So I went back to the Church Secrets article this morning and lifted out a piece that I believe could be helpful to that group, as well as to some of you:
"The questions I ask sometimes generate answers. At other times, they generate more questions as I look deeper and deeper into the complex issues. Yet Dr. Wilkinson's "Who are they really trying to protect?" continues to ring louder than all others. To it I have added a related question: "What unresolved feelings protect wrong-doers in the institutional church at the expense of the vulnerable?"
I believe the answer is complex, but boils down to two feelings: FEAR and SHAME. Ironically, these same emotions are what keep most survivors in hiding. Once the shame is gone, it is impossible to ignore the healthy anger. For many, overcoming the shame of being angry is yet another step. But once that anger is seen as God-given and useful, it starts to work for healthy change. Gradually the fear pales. The energy takes over, and Romans 8:28 has a new illustration!
Yet victims are under no obligation to take the risk of reporting, possibly inflicting on themselves much more painful abuse in the aftermath. Before doing so, it is essential to have a strong support system.
By contrast, persons in positions of leadership are ethically bound to protect victims from public exposure and to do everything possible to see that offenders are removed from positions of leadership. They, also, need strong support systems, but often fail to find them. They, too, may face double-binds, having to choose between compromising their convictions or enduring intense spiritual abuse from colleagues who shame them for their convictions."
