Collusion and Confusion with Sexual Misconduct

(a first-person horror story by Dee Miller)

Buy this book for $14.00 postage-paid.

"Every health care professional and member of the clergy needs to read this book. Those with little or no experience with sexual abuse will find well-articulated insights into the powerfully destructive ways abuse affects both the victim and the community in which it takes place. For victims of sexual abuse, it will provide strong consensual validation that their responses are normal, that they aren't crazy, and that there is help available."

Judith Shelly, RN, MAR, Senior Editor of Intervarsity's The Journal of Christian Nursing

"Other writers in the past decade have addressed such issues as incest, violation and mistrust, even clergy abuse, but few have acknowledged the magnitude of the systematic abuse addressed here."

from the forward by Dr. Bert Kae-Je', Diplomate AAPC, Director of Education and Training, Pastoral Institute, Columbus, Georgia.
What happens when a group of professional ministers suddenly find themselves facing a sexual predator in their own midst? They are forced to confront the illusions about safety in the community of faith. This true story clearly illustrates the common games of collusion and frequently gives us a glance at the DIM Thinking which lies behind the games.

The setting is unusual--deep in the heart of Africa, where the Millers were serving as career missionaries. Yet the dynamics will be all too familiar to any survivor or advocate who has ever tried to expose sexual violence in a profession which is expected to provide the model of healthy, moral living.

The story in How Little We Knew is about the aftermath of the abuse of minors, as well as the blatant assaults or molestation of adult co-workers, by a man who had already spent a quarter of a century as a foreign missionary. The author was one of the adult victims.

Just a footnote: Finding a sub-title for the book was one of the most challenging tasks of writing it. In 1993--the time of its publication (and in most circles today), "sexual misconduct" is the popular term for what happens when a professional in any way sexually exploits a person of lesser power. "Sexual misconduct" is a legal term. In titling the book, Dee finally settled on what she considered a minimizing term--"sexual misconduct," hoping this would help it to be found by the appropriate audience.
Throughout this web-site, you will find "clergy sexual abuse." This term, it was felt, would be the most common one used in searches. However, it is not the author's preference. Despite the media's extensive use of the term "sexual abuse" to refer to the abuse of both adults and children, the public still seems to think of sexual abuse as something which could only happen to children. The general public seems to find the term ambiguous. Survivors often find it minimizing.
If given the opportunity to change the cover today, Dee would select the term "sexual violence." This change is being supported by progressive writers, such as Friedman and Boumil in their book, Betrayal of Trust(Praeger, 1995). Miller believes it is the term most appropriate in describing the wide array of violations perpetuated by clergy, whether or not there is actual physical violence involved.