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Thu 12/25/2008
A New Carol
Topic: Christmas
Sojourners magazine (www.sojo.net) calls it a subversive carol. They invite us to all sing it this year. I just sung every word. Living it will be much harder, but I'm working on it as I'm trying to re-imagine Christmas in some new ways this year. I think you'll know, as soon as you read the first two lines, what tune to bellow out. May you have a very merry christmas and a peace and justice new year, as well--all year long! Have Yourself a Peace and Justice Christmas Have yourself a peace and justice Christmas,
Set your heart a-right.
Flee the malls and focus on Christ’s guiding light. Have yourself a peace and justice Christmas,
Give your time a way.
Share God’s love, And serve “the least of these” today. Here we are, as we pray for peace,
We’ll live simply and give more.
We care for those far and near to us,
Which brings cheer to us, once more. God brings down
The haughty from high places,
And lifts up the low.
God cares for the hungry and the humble, so –
Forget the stress and let the peace and justice flow!
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Wed 12/24/2008
Time to Connect
Topic: Christmas
Many victims of violence say that they feel disconnected from the world, as if they no longer belong. Christmas offers us a time to connect in some ways we may have forgotten, through meaningful traditions that have not been ruined by the actions of others. May you focus this week on the ways that remain and the people who are still strong in your life, rather the ones who may have brought sorrow or, through their actions, have robbed you of a sense of well-being. More importantly, may we all find ways to connect and be compassionate toward those whom we may have harmed. Especially those that we have unknowingly harmed through omissions.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Fri 12/19/2008
Topic: Christmas
This story came in No. 6 for TIME magazine's list of under-reported stories in 2008. Just behind several stories of international atrocities or major goof's! The Southern Baptist Convention may not be as thrilled to see it as I am--chances are it will find a way not to notice that they made the list because of the data-base rejection instead of the Convention's pledge to somehow rid itself of child predators. To me, it feels like an odd gift, considering how long I've been writing about the problem of collusion, while working mostly behind the scenes, knowing that there is no real hope unless people in any system are willing to do the honest, heart work that is a pre-requisite to the reduction of denial and defensiveness. My contention has always been that, without an independent review board (a whole other issue that will repeatedly be rejected faster than the data-base), even the data-base would be virtually worthless. Most Baptists still don't want to believe, as Presbyterians have recently recognized, that collusion will be profound whenver the decisions are left to those who are leaders inside the system! That opinion just comes from nearly a lifetime of experience, living inside the system, and having experienced the power of the belief system that is impossible to penetrate. In fact, when Christa Brown told me a couple of years ago of her plans to push this idea, I suggested that it would be a waste of time because there was no hope of getting this accomplished. I told her she would just be setting herself up for devastating disappointment. When the SBC decided to set up a committee to study the possibility, I feared that the renewed hope of Brown and many other survivors was just going to be dashed against the rocks of despair, as they fell further into hopelessness, under the power of the denomination. In a way, I was correct in that prediction--pursuing it was a "failure" so far as getting the SBC to choose safety over protection of the patriarchal power that is preserved by doing nothing. Yet Christa's incredible hope kept her going so that she was successful in bringing about an outcome that illuminates the problem. Even if the system seems impossible to penetrate, the outside world, at least, recognizes the problem. Ironically, because the press has helped to bring this story forward, churches are going to be less likely to have the opportunity to even be informed. Some survivors will be able to go to the police, where they may find support and credibility. Yet many more are less likely to waste their time and energy in hoping to be heard by a system that is impotent in offering real protection. They will figure out the sad truth that the only hope for spiritual recovery may be to go elsewhere or to leave organized religion entirely and seek other sources for spiritual renewal. The only other hope will be the small number who can somehow find a way through the legal loopholes, individually or collectively, to speak through the courts or the press. So, ironically, the only hope of being heard will result in alienating most people within the system that has sworn to offer protection! Yet, with the speaking, some may see a grain of hope for change in a system so resistant and impotent? Time will tell--both TIME magazine and the time it takes for the historic unfolding of a story that is far from finished!
So here we are, at the end of 2008, with the Good Lord once again showing a sense of humor through this Time Magazine recognition of the arrogant and naive refusal of a group that still believes that someday churches can be trusted to govern themselves in matters for which they have absolutely no expertise, a matter that doesn't just put their financial books at risk, but the far more important treasures--the hearts and souls of vulnerable people. Along with the reputation of the Convention. Of course, if those souls can be silenced and easily coaxed into just going away quietly, then who really cares?
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Updated: Thu 12/18/2008 11:57 AM CST
Thu 12/18/2008
Charity or Compassion?
Topic: Christmas
Coming into Christmas, 2008, I find myself having new ideas this year. Partly because of the economic turn-down. Much more so, however, because of the Brene Brown's conference on shame resiliency. (if you are new to this blog, more info can be found at http://brenebrown.squarespace.com/ ) Compassion comes only when we learn to neither shame, nor to blame, another person who is experiencing misfortune. One can extend a lot of charity without having compassion. Jesus took the higher road. He told the bystanders to quit throwing their stones, to quit blaming. He looked into the eyes of people so that they could see his understanding as he extended his hand. That extension was not one of sympathy, but of the shared humanity that He knew and felt in his heart. Why? Because his life was filled with a mixture of joy and sorrow, of light and darkness. All because he dared to look at the light and darkness that fills our world. He looked beyond his own sorrows and needs, but felt them deeply. He knew what it was to live in poverty, and didn't consider that the worst thing in the world. Far worse, He realized and tried to teach us, is living in shame and self-doubt. Or feeling that life isn't worth living if we don't have all that Santa Claus makes us dream of having. So, somehow in kindness, yet without mincing words or lowering standards, he was saying to us: "Keep growing up and facing reality. In so doing, you will find peace, light, and compassion for people beyond your little world--the little world that stops at the borders or shores that you recognize as important."
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Updated: Thu 12/18/2008 9:02 AM CST
Wed 12/17/2008
Grown-Ups and Santa
Topic: Christmas
"It's like finding out that there is no Santa," a survivor, sexually abused by a priest in his youth, said to me in a one-on-one conversation years ago. He was speaking of the loss of the wonder that childhood allows, with the second chapter of loss that came years later when he asked his Church to provide protection for others and justice. He'd experienced twice the loss of the luxury of looking to people who can guide and instruct without hurting those who look to the "magician" that the Church seems to fabricate, giving priests the advantage of control and power that is beyond what the vast majority of humans can possibly use wisely and ethically. To the smallest children of our society, the men in the red suits are magicians who can make all dreams come true. To adults who haven't matured enough to stop believing in magic, that's what priests are, in fact. As grown-ups, we often fail to recognize our own power. Real power that is just as difficult to explain as the power we give to Santa. Or to a priest. Yet it's a power that we can all possess if our hearts understand real power. For Christians, it's the power to embody the essence of Christ, so that we do not become perfect yet can uphold very high standards of showing compassion toward ourselves in order to show more compassion to others. Thereby, having the possibility of creating Christmas every day!
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Updated: Tue 12/16/2008 4:44 PM CST
Tue 12/16/2008
Always in Practice
Topic: Christmas
As we work to become more shame resilient, we find our lives filled with more peace and joy--the very essence of Christmas! It never comes without a ton of work, however, and the filling of our lives with peace and joy has to happen again and again, else we become depleted and forget who we are. Like some of my piano students, I can slip into thinking that I'm old enough to quit practicing in the hopes of getting the "music" of my life where it's "supposed" to be. Where I can meet the relatively high standards that I like to hold in the way I do the things that are important to me. Parker Palmer, in an interview on NPR's "Speaking of Faith" Sunday, says that it is in the cracks that appear, because we are not perfect or always getting things perfect, that we find light. The light of self-acceptance, I'd say, that allows us to know that we are love-able and can possess the peace and joy of being "simply human" or "simply normal."
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 7:36 AM CST
Updated: Tue 12/16/2008 4:45 PM CST
Wed 12/26/2007
No Santa!
Topic: Christmas
So did you find Santa somewhere yesterday? I remember well when I first discovered that this jolly soul was really a figment of my imagination, created skillfully by the adults who needed for me to believe. Perhaps even to make up for their own lack of magical sense from their days of growing up in the Great Depression. Guess it was window into my personality, showing that I expect people to speak the truth literally. Even when it came to the "white lies"--whether dressed in red, along with the white, or not. I was just furious when I found out my parents had lied to me. I confronted them with a vengeance. At age six! I told them I would never believe another thing they said. Oh, how I ranted and raved! "You tell me that it's a sin to lie!" I said, with as much fury as I have often felt because of much more serious lies that the institutional church has told to cover up evil. They tried to tell me that it was all so I could just have fun. It was all just play, they insisted. I didn't see it that way. Truth is that it probably WAS years before I forgave them. I didn't care if parents everywhere in the country told their kids the same myth. They should tell their kids that it wasn't true, I insisted. They were all at fault! As an adult, I go along with what other people teach their kids about Santa. I don't think it's a moral issue to talk about this mythical man as if he was real. I just never had the heart to do it with my own children. I was way too traumatized. One set of my grandchildren believe in Santa still. The other does not. It will be funny (I hope) when someday those two approaches collide so that the truth is revealed. At least, interesting. Sometimes, it seems to me, that much of what we teach our children about God is closely aligned to the Santa myth, too. Maybe because we as adults "need' to believe even more than the kids.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Tue 12/25/2007
A Meaningful, Magical Christmas
Topic: Christmas
Whether this day turns out to be "merry" or happy, I certainly hope it is a meaningful day for you. The external power of capitalism is very closely kin to the imperialistic power of the Old Testament, the power that Jesus’ teachings tried to refute. In Old Testament days, the kings and warriors believed that God was on their side. They evoked God’s power and even wrote about how they believed God had spoken and caused miraculous things to happen in order to destroy their enemies. Ironically, the people who claimed to be on God’s side didn’t always show that in reality. How convenient it was, though, to declare that God was on their side and to sculpt the story of the Jewish people to mount the evidence that would show this. Jesus came along and debunked all of that. He focused not on what we think of as power at all. Certainly not the Zorro kind of power that protects some people and not others. Jesus message was that the power of God is within people who recognize this to be the case. It’s the kind of power that can do all things possible WITHIN us and sometimes changes within us can result in changes outside of us. Yet real power doesn’t come from external sources. It starts deep within us, in our souls. The sad thing is that we often have covered over that power so much, focusing on the external things or magical events, just as people have done throughout the centuries, crediting God and blaming God and arranging so many “miraculous” things that we can see with our own eyes, that we cannot even imagine the Power that Jesus was trying to help us find, the Power that is already within us through God’s grace. It is this realization coming to earth, helping us to discover that we already have all that we need-- that is the True Magic of Christmas!
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Mon 12/24/2007
"Christianity" Gets a Challenge
Topic: Christmas
An early December episode of “Aliens in America,” Raja asked the Tolchuk family to help him understand more about their spiritual life. Especially at Christmas, a season he was having difficulty fully comprehending as a Muslim. As always, the show was a delightful mix of hilarious irony and wisdom that comes because of Raja’s gentle spirit that comes across along with his incredibly mature philosophy that stands in such charm contrast to his host family, the Tolchuk’s, who are filled with so much hostility and are extremely skilled at selfish manipulation as they struggle with issues raised because of Raja’s humble presence in their lives. Raja has a servant attitude, always seeking to learn and grow. He seems to understand, especially in this episode, a lot about what Jesus came to teach us when it comes to power. The Tolchuk’s scramble to find their old church, only to discover that it’s been turned into a fast-food restaurant! In the process, they discover painful realities about how much they had preserved within themselves a belief system that worships external power. In the process, it becomes clear how much we all need to change if we are to align ourselves with a power that is important.
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
Sun 12/23/2007
Our Korean Christmas Gift
Topic: Christmas
My most memorable Christmas came in 1955. With the arrival of what I came to call “our Korean Christmas gift.” My little sister wasn’t wrapped in shining paper. Or anything bright and colorful. She came on a jet plane. First to California. Dressed in one of those old-fashioned, paper-thin baby dresses that were common dress for summer infantwear back then. It would have been sized “3 months” if there had been an American manufacturer involved. For Lydia, though almost 15 months old, weighed 14 pounds. She could not even turn over! It was the dead of winter with beautiful snowflakes falling to decorate the evening when a stewardess walked across the runway carrying this vulnerable baby who had been placed, just the day before, in a sturdy box just large enough for them to call “a bed” and loaded along with scores of other infants and toddlers on a plane without seats. These children were known as “war orphans” because so many of them were fathered by American soldiers who had abandoned their convenient lovers, leaving them and their children destitute and treated like trash, once the war was over. Somehow my parents had been forewarned that they needed to send an extra change of clothes, something warm, along with a heavier blanket for her arrival. And so she came on a snowy night. With no instructions. To families who knew nothing about the culture and didn’t know the importance of many things that we know now (and are still trying to learn) about caring for such children who come from afar. The thought that they might have a child so fragile that she could die the day she arrived--that was something that apparently never entered my parents’ minds. Nor the agency’s. These children were desperate, and their new parents held high aspirations with little understanding of the issues or challenges ahead. My mother wrote last week that December 17 always seems like Lydia’s birthday. It was a new beginning for all of us. For this dear child, who would never be able to reconstruct her past as much as she’d like, never be able to find her biological mother, nor the father who tossed her aside for whatever reason and with whatever feelings he might have experienced, this woman who now wonders how she possibly coped in an orphanage where the kids were forced to live on rice water, it was time to catch up on a lot of things. I sent her a little Christmas angel this year, with a note telling her that she has so many times been, for me, like an angel in my life. One who came as such a blessing, to a family that had very, very little left to share materially. Yet, paradoxically, we had everything we wanted!
Posted by Dee Ann Miller
at 12:01 AM CST
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