Dee's Blog
Fri 03/21/2008
Choosing to Embrace the Struggle
Topic: spirituality

The struggle that we choose to embrace is always an important one. It is embracing the struggle that is the most difficult part of the process.  We crucify ourselves when we choose not to do so. 

Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 12:01 AM CDT
Thu 03/20/2008
Re-Framing the Storms of Life
Topic: spirituality

The grace of God often comes to me as I am able to see the problems I have NOT had. Through this, I can see the luxuries that are mine, even in the midst of the storms.

Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 12:01 AM CDT
Wed 03/19/2008
The Promises
Topic: spirituality

What I believe about God's promises is that we have been taught a shallow version of the promises and a shallow version of God. We have been taught--as heretical as this may sound--to depend too much on the external and not enough on the god or God (however a survivor needs to write that, at a particular point in the journey). As opposed to finding the god or God within us that has been there since the day we were born. This is much deeper than the God we found at some point of conversion or transformation. The institutional church has made the same mistake, so that "just leave it in the hands of the Lord" becomes the watchword as we expect God to come down and zap things into being okay.

Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 12:01 AM CDT
Tue 03/18/2008
Rising Above the Story
Topic: spirituality

More and more of you, dear readers, seem to be choosing to embrace the journey of struggle in order to rise above the story. A place where we find new meaning for divine promises and test the promises that may not be God's, actually, but got attributed to God by people who were themselves struggling to either write or translate. We are all writers and translators, as I see it, of what we have experienced within ourselves, what we continue to test because of a mature faith that does not need all of the answers that fundamentalism teaches us we HAVE to have.

Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 12:01 AM CDT
Mon 03/17/2008
Take Up That Bed!
Topic: spirituality

One of the beauties of social activism, a beauty that I see as both spiritual and social, is that over time people find the means and the anger required to speak out about injustice. When our voices are loud enough and persistent, which I hope is shown in How Little We Knew, though I really had so much to learn when I wrote that (and still do)....when our voices are loud enough and persistent enough, we no longer have to see the institutional church or anyone else taking any action in order for us to be whole and more alive than we've ever been. This is the "take up thy bed and walk" part that doesn't need the church to find restoration and resurrection for us to move to higher ground. We learn to find it without the institutional church, in most instances. Or in spite of it. In outer space. Ironically, when we find the resurrection in outer space (in other words, with new eyes that act creatively because we are uniquely made in the image of God), ONLY then do we find resurrection in the inner spaces!

Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 8:49 AM CDT
Fri 03/14/2008
Topic: spirituality

It just dawned on me that the secret for changing the world is for each of us to learn to be good actors.  That sounds a bit flaky, coming from someone who espouses good health and abhors hypocrisy.

Yet it is not hypocrisy to act in loving, caring ways, even when we are struggling with our own inner turmoil.  Not unless we are neglecting to also act in loving and caring ways toward ourselves so that we can grow and become more mature and healthy.

Finding the balance of caring and loving people far away that we may never have even met, caring and loving for people in our communities, and doing the same in our families and toward those in our direct care, all while not forgetting to care and love ourselves first.   Yes, I said FIRST. 

It sounds SO uncaring and unloving.   Yet it's the most Christian thing, I'm convinced, and the healthiest things that we are called to do. 

For many people, it's the most difficult of all. 

Go love and care deeply this weekend as you think on these things.

Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 8:13 AM CDT
Thu 03/13/2008
The Tragic Gap
Topic: spirituality

Parker Palmer, on NPR's Word to Word yesterday, touched something so deep within me that I spent half the night tossing and turning as I did some positive wrestling with it's message. 

 He invited me and others to dare trying to stand in what he calls "the tragic gap," which he says is not at all tragic.  Yet definitely daunting, a place from which I believe most people would prefer to run.

I'm deferring to that program today.  Please, if you can find time at all, listen to this program today:

It will probably be the subject of this blog for at least a day or two.


Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 9:33 AM CDT
Wed 03/12/2008
Rising Again and Again
Topic: Power

Whenever my husband Ron sees a challenge coming, something that might entail some sort of suffering for a stand that he wishes to take, I"ve frequently seen him find the courage through saying:  "I figure you can only be crucified once, and I've already been crucified."  He is correct so far as being emotionally crucified and spiritually decimated by the status quo camps of the institutional church.  Like so many others we've seen in the last twenty years, people much too afraid of being crucified by sexual predators and their friends to hold them all accountable.

Yesterday I added a sentence to Ron's well-stated thought.  "However, you can RISE again and again!"  

The message of the crucifixion is multi-faceted.  Some interpret it much different than others.  To me, it represents REAL sacrifices that can only be made by people seeking to reach toward a greater maturity, very unlike what I hear many saying they are "giving up for Lent."  Sometimes they are sacrifices that I find difficult, though they are for the greater good. 

As always when Easter approaches, I consider that it's more important to focus on the meaning of resurrection.  That's really what the season is most about to me.  It is, by recognizing the power within me that has, at times,  allowed me to overcome many obstacles and to walk where "angels fear to tread" by choice.  When I forget about that power, that's when I take the "safer" road sometimes instead of the wiser one.  That's when I fail to focus on possibilities, averting my eyes, and being blinded by the things I fear. 

When I focus on the resurrection, I find the courage to sort out what sacrifices are REALLY required for the greater good--mine and everyone else's.


Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 12:01 AM CDT
Tue 03/11/2008
Confronting Collusion with Gender Inequity
Topic: Making Changes

One of the many things my brilliant friend Olga is good at:  teaching me to see things through a wider lens.   She and I both love to think beyond the individual to the system or extended family, though we share a love for personality studies too.

A few days ago she reminded me of how often we women COLLUDE with gender inequity by not letting men take on the responsibility for their own actions.  Not just with addicts or perpetrators.  Just in our day-to-day relationships. 

My acronym of DIM thinking (Denial, Ignorance and Minimization) applies in far more areas, of course, than just collusion with abuse and addictions, even though that's where it started out.  

It's important that we recognizing that, without a very serious handicap,  people are old enough and smart enough, whatever the gender, to make good decisions and take care of themselves far more than we allow them to.  In fact, that's why I sometimes seem to be apathetic when I don't get terribly involved in doing what I believe should be "the work of the church" (ie. educating itself and facing it's internal problems that create problems for everyone else).  I have long believed that when the heart is in a healthy place, the healthy actions will abound.  When it's not, I'm probably wasting my time trying to reason with people who are afraid of seeing beyond their own culture or sub-culture to view the world from a different angle.

Thanks, Olga, for enlarging my understanding of collusion and DIM thinking further than I've ever seen it before.

Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 12:01 AM CDT
Updated: Fri 03/07/2008 8:34 AM CST
Mon 03/10/2008

Topic: music

Music is the universal language, we say.  And it is.  When you are listening to it or creating it, at least.

Everyone can enjoy music.  Believe it or not, everyone has within them the capacity to create it, too--though it may be a lot more work for some than others.

Yet if you want to really understand it, that's a lifetime's work.  Very quickly I can start using words and terms or concepts that I understand or that I may just be realizing as I try to figure out for myself and my students just why something fits together and how it all works to sometimes make music.  While at other times a student or a teacher have the equal dilemma of producing unintended, unwelcome noise. 

In my case, as a piano teacher, it's about learning how to touch the keys "just right" to develop what takes the player and the listeners into a sense of ecstasy--that's the art of it. 

Just as in living, sometimes I achieve it.  Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I succeed in communicating in a language that is on the level of my student.  Sometimes I'm still working to understand the language myself, while learning from my students.

Or readers, when it comes to this site.

Posted by Dee Ann Miller at 12:01 AM CDT

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