Topic: coping
Finally got around to seeing "The Secret Life of Bees" this week, even if I did have to go after 10 p.m. to fit it into my schedule. Certainly was worth it!
Sometimes I take one little gem from a movie, one that I know I'll always remember. From this movie, it was a young boy telling the main character that finding out the truth isn't nearly as significant as what you decide to do with it.
As you all know well, deciding can take a long time. Deciding WHAT to do includes HOW to feel, which is probably a pre-requisite for making a good decision.
We have choices in how we end up feeling, though the initial, gut choices are likely to simply be spontaneous. Our choices need to involve considerable thought.
Among the choices:
--- shame that leads us to believe we are flawed because of an experience (because we were shamed at one time by someone
--- guilty when we have actually made a choice that showed poor character or wrong-doing
--- blame, which puts total accountability on others for everything we do, negating our responsibility for anything in the past, present or future, keeping us stuck in anger far beyond what the initial truth discovery reveals.
Being stuck in either blame or shame keeps us stuck in the past. Taking things as they come today allows us to move on, continuing to make the wisest decisions for effective living.
