When we recognize how shame is operating within us, we are able to diminish it. It’s not up to others. It’s not even up to professionals to do this. All of us can contribute to the diminishing of others’ shame by recognizing how people that we know uniquely experience shame. We can learn how to better empathize and be compassionate.

Here’s the clincher, though: It’s impossible to achieve courage, compassion, and connection effectively until we’ve done our own hard work of tackling the shame we feel, it’s origins, and how we contribute to “nurturing” shame within ourselves. Of course, we do this destructive “nurturing” best whenever we fail to examine our irrational beliefs or the irrational beliefs that are voiced by others toward us.